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Saturday, June 28, 2008 ~ 9:30 AM

It's Feels Good To Have Friends.
Hey buddy! It's already the third day I have been neglecting my schoolwork. I am feeling quite guilty. Differentiation , Chemical energetics , Circular motions tutorials as well as the much dreaded physics E lecture I am supposed to watch during June holidays.
Oh yah. I enjoyed these few days alot. Yesterday I went to Sakae Sushi to feast with Yuheng and Jaykay. After that we went home and bathed and went out again to meet Xuanhan , Waeting and Ninet. ^^ Played pool , arcades and bowling. I love going out with them man.
Today went to Swiss and mucked around with Percussion. Oh , and I realised that Milo Chendol is not a drink. Its a dessert.-.- Treated Jiaying and her juniors some peach thingey and went home afterwards.
ELAINE IS A VERY LOL GIRL. Firstly she have some major self denial problem and can denies everything. Virtually everything. Then I realised she can LOL in front of people over very very lame matters. And she has like a hundred different images! lols. Oh , I forgot to add, she is super high at times. xD ELAINE! Remember the secret meeting arh!
Hmmx. I shall study tomorrow! oh yah , sorry abt the randomness. But I played Gunbound a few hours ago. lol. The nostalgia. Amusing. Time flies like an arrow. Oh I played around 30 rounds with Kenneth and I managed to won 3-4. I wonder what happened. Totally owned.
Oh. Did I mention to you that I haven't been hearing things properly for quite a time? I got tired of it and went for a checkup today. Turns out to be the credit of my nose sensitivity. I didn't know my nose sensitivity is so serious. Well I know it acts up when the air is dirty , when I am stressed or nervous and stuff like that. But now the doctor says it will affect my hearing as well and I will have to go for an operation soon. A minor one that is. Mum's scolding me because I am wasting alot of her money on medical bills again. Mum , if you ever get to read this. I am sorry for that. But I am born like that. Do you really thought I enjoy being sick? Its not as if I am not feeling anything when I am sick. Sometimes I am super exhausted from trying to breathe properly. It can be super noisy and irritating. I always find it difficult to concentrate during lessons and examinations because of it. I don't like it either. I hate it. Detests it. Abhhors it.
P.S. The title of this post isnt meant to be emo. ^^ If my memory doesn't fail me , it is what Luna Lovegood said to Harry Potter in Half Blood Prince. =)

Thursday, June 26, 2008 ~ 9:48 AM




The Ending Of The Beginning.






Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy :) The dreaded Mid year examinations is finally over! I can conclude that I fared pretty badly , given the time I spent in revision. More than 5 hours of studying for a month. I can't imagine what I will get for Mathematics though lol. I have to thank alot of people! Especially you June! You can't imagine how boring it is to study all day. Its so fortunate that I have someone to disturb everyday xD. Hey mum! I bet you will read this and will start mumbling why I didn't mention you! Of course , I wouldn't forget my crappy mum who crapped along with us during our revision in the midnights! Thanks for always telling stories I have heard mum xD AND I WANNA GOOO ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ;D




Oh yes!The picture above is one of the characters in my all time favourites! Aerith in Final fantasy Crisis Core xD. More pictures next time! ^^
Or The Beginning Of The Ending?

Thursday, June 19, 2008 ~ 1:35 AM

While You Yearn To Be Trusted..
Yesterday , I had another 'family gathering' in MSN with june and jeza mum. During the conversation , we brushed across this topic about trust and it inspired me to pen down my thoughts. Literally.
I realised that in Life, be it couples bonded by matrimony, family tied by blood relations, friends drawn by common interests and many many more. We would often hear them having problems in trusting one another. I believe that ''Why can't you trust me? '' isn't anything uncommon in our lives.
I often wonder why would people ask such a question. To me , the answer lies within another question.
What have you done to make people trust you?
Trust have to be earned. It's pointless to blame your spouse , family and friends for not trusting you. Sometimes, instead of asking why , we should ask why not? The latter is often much less complicated than the former , yet much more accurate. Only by learning from the past, then can we change our future.
Trust. This simple yet ironically profound word holds alot of meaning to me. I have more often been trusted by people around me than the opposite. People share their secrets, fears , joy and sorrow with me. I don't know why they do , but I don't seek to know either. As for myself , I love to trust people too. Trusting someone brings me such joy, because I know myself well. My heart will only open to people close to me, dear to me. That is perhaps the reason behind my random disclosure of secrets to my friends. My friends are often puzzled by such an act too. Why would Sebastian tell me that suddenly? It's because I realise that you're someone I can entrust my secrets with.
For all my life, I have always trusted. Every close friend to me is represented by a piece of white paper in my heart. And I will pen down my secrets on this piece of paper. Sadly , I often had to remove that piece of paper forever. I remembered the time I trusted my best friend and almost got blind , when I trusted my girlfriend and got deceived for 2 years and so much more that I don't bother to remember anymore. These incidents changed me alot. I realised I tend to hide alot of my thoughts and feelings from my friends and family. Worst of all , I only realised this recently , when I discovered even when I am praying , I omitted things that I don't want God to know. Hiding from God? That's insane. But please my friend , don't misunderstand me :) I still believe in trust.
P.S. I have received several complaints that my blog is post emo. Though what they said was ' damn emo'. This is something that I deny to my fullest ability. I perceive 'emo' as a state of emotion when someone gives in to self pity as well as a plea for attention. I am definitely not doing anything like that. My posts are hardly written when I am in tears or whatsoever , and are purely thoughts and whispers from my heart voiced through a medium. This medium is of course , known as whisperingroads :)
I Long To Trust.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 ~ 2:12 AM

Observe And Learn


Everything happened within expectations. Except that I failed to realise that people could actually forgive when in doubt. A feat that I once thought impossible. But something upsetted me though, which is absurd. How can something possibly upset you when you knew it would happen? I don't know. But thats how I felt. God granted me the ability to observe people and things around me. I shall treasure it , and learn using it.

Saturday, June 14, 2008 ~ 7:42 AM

Happy Birthday June!
Hmmmx. Recently , people have been telling me that my blog is very emo. Well so I thought writing something else might liven things up ^^ Preparation for exams is quite stressful. My brother had told me for the past few weeks , I have been reciting formulas and definitions in my sleep. Scary eh? Sometimes I don't even know if I am sleeping or not. I kept dreaming of myself studying and doing tutorials and stuff. And whenever night time comes, I will start to feel very very frightened. Sometimes I even feel like crying. I know its weird. But I can't help it. Actually it is so pressurising because I ain as fast as my friends to grasp formulas and theories. But whatever, I am tired of trying to do as well as them. So I will just try my best and listen to what june taught me. Put everything and everyone aside and just do your best.
YESTERDAY
we celebrated June's birthday. I have been making mental notes to look for any nice stuff I could get for her birthday since she told me her birthday. But sadly, I couldn't get anythng really nice and unique =( Anyway, June had this new hairstyle that she said it makes her look like a maid. Well I don't know. I thought it was pretty nice =x
I think Ajco percussion is damn fun to be with. I will be missing them loads after my seniors leave. I still don't like the idea of being the only guy in my section. Kanananananana is fun to bully mentally and emotionally. Please note that I omitted physically because I am currently( and I doubt I will ever be) unable to bully him physically yet =) RELAX SEBASTIAN. Everything will go fine..

Saturday, June 7, 2008 ~ 8:18 AM

We Parted.


Exhausted today. Haven't been sleeping for more than 5 hours for the whole week. But I will do well for my exams. I have to. People say you can do it as long as you trust yourself. I believe I am not dumb or slow. Yupps.


What's broken is broken.
So why not leave it that way?
Even if you mend it,
it will be scarred and ugly.
Nothing like before.



So we can meet again.


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